Pray, expect, go.

Those three words have become my mantra lately.

Pray: Pray to the God of the Universe.
Expect: Expect that he will hear your prayer.
Go: Expect that he will respond.

This is not my own idea. In fact, this idea is thousands of years old. I got it from the awesome story of Elijah.

He did a lot of wild things for the Lord during his lifetime. As most of the prophets of that era, he lived as a radical. The specific story I want to touch on is from 1 Kings 18. I highly encourage you to read it and base your learning off the Scripture and not my poor paraphrasing and summarizing.

Elijah is hanging out on Mount Carmel which if you've been to Israel you know that Mount Carmel is not piddly little hill. It is a mountain.

View from the top.

Anyways, Elijah is kind of in this prayer "battle" with the prophets of Baal. Essentially it's a sort of "anything you can do I can do better" battle. The prophets of Baal claim they can do this miracle, then Elijah shows them up with the power of God. This goes on and on until Elijah ignites the altar of the Lord after it has been drenched in water. They all fall to their knees in amazement. However, this isn't even the crazy part.

This whole time, in fact, three years previous to this time, the entire land has been under a terrible drought. It hasn't rained in years. After performing these wild miracles and signs, Elijah drops to his knees and begins to pray. He tells his servant to climb to the top of Mount Carmel and look for rain. Six times he sends his servant up, and six times the servant sees nothing.

The seventh time is different.

The seventh time, Elijah sends his servant to the top and far in the distance, the servant sees a rain cloud. Elijah prayed the drought would end. The drought ended.

He prayed. He expected. He went.

It's that simple... why is it so hard for me?

Stretch...

Flexibility.

I've been thinking about what it means to be flexible. Not in the physical fitness sense of the word (I mean seriously, is the 'sit-and-reach' a valid test of fitness anyway?) but I mean in the sense of time.

I've been job "searching" lately. It seems like every employer wants their employees to be flexible. Not so they can touch their toes, but so that when the proverbial curve ball is thrown, they will be able to react and take it all in stride.

I personally enjoy the curve ball. I get tired of the same thing. I get bored when my day-to-day routine becomes... a routine. I like being forced to be flexible. I like when someone asks me out of the blue to do something. I'll admit, sometimes it's very inconvenient and annoying, but I enjoy the change of pace.

I think Christ's example to us is that of flexibility. You don't have to look hard to find an example. Take the woman who had been hemorrhaging for years (Luke 8). Jesus is plowing his way through a big crowd trying to get to this man Jairus' house. Jairus' only daughter (12 years old) was dying, and he knew that Jesus was the only man who could heal her. As he's navigating his way through the crowd that "almost crushed him" (v. 42) a woman who had been bleeding for 12 years touches the hem of his cloak.

Instantly he stops.

He asks, "Who touched me?" For one, I guarantee there were a lot of people touching him at that moment. The wild thing is, he knew the answer to this question. As his disciples try to explain to him that dozens of people are touching him at the same time, he says that he felt power go out of him. He knew that this woman had touched the hem of his cloak.

At this point, this woman is trembling in fear. Her hopes to just touch the edge of his cloak and slip away are totally shattered. Jesus has called her out in front of the entire crowd. She explains why she did what she did and he tells her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace." (v. 48).

Meanwhile, the entire time this is going on, Jairus' daughter is dying. In fact, at this point, she is actually dead. Talk about being flexible. Jesus is on his way to save her life and he stops because a random woman touches him in faith that he can heal her.

I would imagine at this point Jairus is pretty upset. He gets news that his daughter has died, but as soon as he is told this, Jesus turns and says to him, "Don’t be afraid; just believe, and she will be healed." (v. 50). They make it to Jairus' house to find all the family grieving because of her death. Jesus tells them to stop because she is not dead, only asleep. Rightfully so, the family members laugh at him. I'd imagine that some where probably angry at him for making light of such a painful tragedy. If only they knew the power he had.

He commands the girl to get up. She wakes up and stands up. All is well. He brings her from death to life. She was dead. I wish that in blogging I could yell. SHE WAS DEAD! He brings her back to life! Astonishing.

The point I'm struggling to make here is that Jesus was the ultimate example of flexibility. It was not even an issue to stop what he was doing and spend meaningful time with some random woman who grabbed the edge of his cloak in hopes she would be healed. Even when a man's daughter was on her death bed, it wasn't a big deal. How easily I get frustrated when someone interrupts me from something of much less importance. I am striving to be flexible. It's not really "my" time anyway.

Short, sweet... and hopefully to the point...

Sometimes I look at my life from the world's perspective. Sometimes I question who I am or what I do by the world's standards. Here's an excerpt from my journal:

"When you look 'rationally' at what we (Younglife) do, it doesn't make any sense. Wake up at 6:30, drive an hour round-trip to a middle school to spend 15-20 minutes hanging out with 10-13 year olds as they get off the bus in the morning. In the eyes of the world, that is one of the craziest things you could do. Who really wants to hang out with middle schoolers anyway?"

As I looked at my lifestyle from the world's eye, I found it almost comical. Most of my peers are asleep at 6:30 AM. If they're not, they're likely waking up to study, to get ready for class, or still awake from the night before.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not boasting in my works. My works mean nothing. Not a thing. I'm boasting in what Christ has done in my life. Back to my journal:

"That's a trick question... God does. And that is why I go. Because I said, "Here I am, send me." And he said, "Go." In obedience to him, because he first loved me, I go to share that love with kids who might not otherwise ever hear it."

I was afraid to say that. I was afraid to tell God I was here, ready to go. I was afraid where he might send me. I was afraid of what he might tell me to do.

I am so thankful I prayed that. He's called me to something I would have never otherwise found myself doing. He's called me to love on kids. He's called me closer to himself.

Be a man...

I apologize in advance for this post; it is likely going to be scattered with no purpose other than to hopefully condense my thoughts in one place.

What does it mean to be a man? What defines what a man is? Merriam-Webster defines man:
(1) : an individual human; especially : an adult male human (2) : a man belonging to a particular category (as by birth, residence, membership, or occupation) —usually used in combination i.e. councilman

An individual human. I agree with that. Society definitely defines a man as individual. We're never supposed to need help. We never ask for directions. We are the problem solvers. We are the go-to when something needs fixed. We are independent. We aren't supposed to need anyone. That would be weak. Only a weak man needs someone else to get by.

That's a tragedy.

By the world's definition, I am not a man. I am weak. Yeah I fix stuff. Yeah I can solve problems. Yeah I don't ask for directions. But, I can't do it on my own. I may put up a front on the outside that says I have it all together and that I am in control, but that is seldom the case.

The Bible defines a man as something completely different. For that, I am incredibly thankful. A man of God doesn't have it all together. A man of God relies on his savior. A man of God admits he can't do it alone. David was a man after God's own heart.

That is the man I want to be.

Personal wrestling match...

The following is an excerpt from my journal.

As a disclaimer, it is pretty raw and likely hard to follow. I wrote this at our YoungLife leader retreat in response to what we had been learning about the concept of lordship. I post this because I hope you can relate to it and maybe gain something from what the Lord is teaching me.

"What am I afraid of? What things keep me up at night, rack my brain, churn my stomach, really worry me? I am afraid of the next step. I like consistency. I like knowing what to expect. I like being comfortable. I like something constant. I like being in control. There are going to be a lot of changes in my life over the next 8 or so months. I'm going to graduate, finish my senior project research, hopefully get a job, and that is all the "knowns". There are a million and one things that are going to happen over this next year. Do I want to give these things up? Would I rather hold on to them or would I rather find freedom from these fears and worries? That is a simple question. I want freedom. I want to be care-free. I want to live life untethered by the fears that try so earnestly to hold me down. Why is it then, that I have such a hard time letting go? What am I holding on to? What am I hoping to gain? How much more free would I be if I let these things go? How much more would I gain by giving up? Just like Ava and the pearls. Why do I cling to my own purchases, my own fake pearls when my Father is pleading with me to give them up? What is it? What is keeping me from jumping in the pool of Your love and grace and seeing how deep I can go? Is it what people think of me? Is it a fear of the unknown? Is it a fear of giving up control in my life? Is it a fear of failing? Is it a fear of losing it all? I think part of it is I am afraid that God won't meet me there. I am afraid I will give it all up and he will leave me hanging with nothing left. Father, show me that isn't true. I know it's not but I don't believe it. Show me that you won't leave me. How deep can I go? How intimate? Lord, I don't want to be just Isaac, I want to be who you want me to be. I want to be like Enoch. I want to live in such close relationship with you, Father. What is holding me back? Lord, I am ready to give it all up. I want to have the faith that you are going to meet me right where I am. I want to believe that you have better for me than I have for myself. How can I possibly think that I have anything close compared to what you offer? You offer life, freedom, mercy, grace, love, hope, laughter, everything. I offer myself nothing. I cannot promise myself one thing. My days are but a breath. A vapor in the wind. Lord, I am ready to give everything else up. I am ready to let go of my fake pearls. I am ready for what you have for me. I am ready to start living. I am ready for freedom. I am ready for life. I am ready. Take away my pearls. Take away the things I cling to. I don't need them. You have far better things for me. Like Noah, I am going to trust your word. You promised to keep him safe and he trusted. Lord, you promised to be there throughout the storm and he trusted. I want to be like Noah. I want to trust you. I want to give it all up and trust you. What if he said no? What if Noah had refused to build the ark? He didn't. He trusted. He had faith. He believed."

Priorities...

I've been thinking a lot about priorities.

I like making lists so priorities are something that I think about a lot. When I have several things I need to get done, I make a list with each item on it and then I can begin to decide which is most important and then attack it.

When it comes to life, this approach is not so simple.

I have 24 hours in a day... 23 hours and 56 minutes if we're talking Sideral days (look it up). Some of those hours are taken up by mandatory things: sleeping, eating, Starcraft 2 (kidding), etc... So, if we subtract 8 hours of sleep and 2 hours for eating, we're left with 14 hours for me to spend as I please.

On an average day, I have 3 hours of class, so that brings me down to 11 hours. Subtract my travel time (to and from class) and that brings me down to about 10 hours.

What I do with those 10 hours is what I've been thinking a lot about lately. I've heard a quote that goes something like this... "I am afraid that at the end of my life, God will hold all the things I've done in his hand and blow away all the things that were not for him and nothing will be left." Maybe you are more familiar with the wheat and the chaff illustration. When wheat is threshed, the heavier kernels of wheat stay while the lighter chaff is blown away by the wind leaving behind what is desired... the wheat.

I've been thinking about what would be left behind if you blew all the "chaff" out of my life. Somedays it really scares me. I think about how I did so little or how I did nothing at all. I think about how I spent 3 hours playing Starcraft 2, an hour looking at a friend's pictures on Facebook, 2 hours watching SportsCenter (twice), an hour in the gym working out. See how quickly that time adds up?

I recently heard a quote from a guy named Jim Elliot. He said, "He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." It is one of my hopes and dreams that at the end of every day I can say, I gave up everything for the sake of Christ. I want to give up the chaff. I want to keep the wheat.

I think these lyrics sum it up well:
So put your faith,
In more than steel,
Don't store your treasures up,
With moth and rust,
Where thieves break in and steal.
Pull the fangs,
From out your heel.
We live in but a shadow of the real.
Of Dust And Nations by Thrice

Mind: blown.

I was just reading through my study bible this morning about the book of James. My sort of "goal" this summer/fall is to read through all the epistles. As I was reading through this little commentary about who James was and the context in which this letter was written, I was blown away by a simple date:

James became a believer in 33 AD.

If you know much about James, I sure didn't before I started reading this letter, but James was the brother of Jesus. Yeah, that's right Jesus the Messiah. So if we piece this all together, Jesus was crucified in 33 AD. His brother became a believer in 33 AD. Therefore, James lived his entire life with Jesus not believing in who he was until he was crucified!

If I could yell over the internet, I would yell that last sentence again! My mind has been blown! How easy is it to give up on someone because they just don't seem to get it? You know they've heard the gospel a hundred times and they still live in sin. They still live in rebellion. James was the brother of Christ yet he still lived in sin and death until the year his brother was killed.

How can I give up hope on a person? There are so many examples of people who came to faith after the craziest of circumstances.

The bright side is, even if I do give up on someone (which I hope I never do again)... God never gives up on them.