Friday, May 13, 2011

Back to start...

About a week ago... I graduated college.

If you had asked me four years ago what I would be doing in four years, I probably would have said I'd be graduating. However, that might be the only thing I would guess correctly.

I just spent the past 3 days moving out of my house at JMU named Pride Rock. We have a strange tradition at JMU of naming houses. My seven other housemates and I decided on the name Pride Rock after months of debate. We wanted to pay homage to one of our favorite childhood movies, The Lion King, and a house of eight men should obviously be called Pride Rock. Seven of us have all lived together all 3 years that we have been there and we've had a different eighth roommate each year. I have been so blessed to live with those guys and while it hasn't always been easy, I have learned so much from each of them.

As we cleaned the house and moved out and said our good byes, I realized that I wasn't really saying good bye. As cliche as it sounds, I was more saying "see you later" to some of my new best friends. Some I will be living close to next year, some I won't be, but regardless, we all share the past 3 years of our lives in common.

I find myself in a strange position. I am in the process of coming to a close with what my life has been for the past 18 years. I have been an active member of the education system. For 18 years I have been in preschool, elementary, middle, high, and now undergraduate. As I graduate and move into the workforce, I leave behind my school years and begin my professional career.

It is strange to think that I'm really just beginning the majority of my life, God willing. It is really exciting to think about the ways God is going to use me in this new phase of life. I've never worked a full time job before. I've never had a career. There's a lot of things I've never done.

It's this unexpected future that I'm looking forward to. It's strange to think how little I know about my future and yet how certain I am that the Lord will provide all I need. In Matthew 6, Jesus talks about certainty in God's provision. He says to the crowd on the Mount of Beatitudes, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?" (v 25). If I could completely grasp the love that God has for me, I think I would fully understand what Jesus is talking about here. He continues,

"Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." (v 26-34)

So simple, so true. I've read this passage a dozen times and each time I am newly convicted of my lack of faith. I want faith. I want faith like Elijah.

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