Conviction...

It's funny how conviction works...

People like conviction, yet at the same time, people don't like it.

Conviction is hard. It's painful. It's a punch in the nose. I like to call it a sucker punch of grace. And I desperately need it. I need it all too often.

I used to think that when I finished up college and moved into the real world, it'd be easier. Sin wouldn't be as big a problem, I'd have more time to spend with Jesus... oh how far from the truth that is. The real world is hard--if anything, it's harder. There's more temptations, more responsibilities, more things to prioritize.

In a blink, I can be miles from where I thought I was and it takes a sucker punch of grace, usually in the form of conviction, to bring me back to my senses.

Thanks be to God that he loves me enough to do that.

I think of how hard it is to confront friends with an issue. You know, when a roommate's music is too loud, or they slam doors in the wee hours of the morning? Maybe it's just my personality type, but I struggle with even that minor of a confrontation. Praise the Lord he does not hesitate to confront me. Praise the Lord he loves me enough to convict me.

He uses all forms of communication too. Just this morning, I read Psalm 1:1-2. Have you ever read Psalm 1 before? I don't think I ever had. With all the Psalms out there, why pick the first one?

"Blessed is the man
who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers;

but his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night."
-Psalm 1:1-2 (ESV)

Boom. That was the conviction I needed.

Do I walk in the counsel of the wicked? Yeah, but not all the time...
Do I stand in the way of sinners? Yeah, but I'm not that bad...
Do I sit in the seat of scoffers? Yeah, but I don't always do that...
Do I delight in the law of the Lord? Well, sometimes?
Do I meditate on the law day and night? Well, you see... no.

That was the sucker punch of grace I needed. God hit me right on the nose. It wasn't fun, but discipline isn't always fun. I can try and negotiate my way around that Scripture all I want, but I'm only negotiating my way around a flawless and perfect God. Who am I to tell God what his law says? When I shortchange Scripture, I shortchange my faith.

There's a two-step process from here. Acknowledgement and repentance.

Step one, acknowledge that I've failed (miserably) and fallen short of this command. Step two, come to the Lord in prayer and repent. The Greek word for repentance is μετάνοια pronounced "meta-noi-ya". It means a physical turning away from sin and towards God.

And, I guess there's a step three, accept grace. It doesn't do me any good to wallow in self pity. I can sit there and pity myself all day long, but that is just depressing and not productive. Grace is awesome. John Mark McMillan sings in one of his songs, "If his grace is an ocean, we're all sinking" and I love the imagery that portrays.

However, Paul cautions us about grace...

"What then shall we say? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin continue to live in it?"
-Romans 6:1-2 (ESV, emphasis added)

It's as simple as that. I've died to sin, I am a new creation in Christ (2 Cor 5:17), so how can I continue to live the life I've died to? It's easy, I cannot.

But, it is hard. And that's why his grace is an ocean. There's never an end. There's no bottom. It will never run out. And in that, there is comfort. There is hope. There is peace.

I hate being wrong...

I recently read a quote from Maya Angelou. It reads:

"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he or she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."

As I read this quote, I thought that it makes a lot of sense. You can easily learn a lot about a person when they're thrown into a situation they don't particularly like. I thought about my own life; how I act when I'm in a stressful situation or an uncomfortable moment. I thought to myself, I really hope that I stay true to who I really am and don't let it get the best of me. I thought a lot about what that looks like when it comes to really knowing someone. Siblings know how this works. People may say, "you two get along so well!" but you both know that things are not always smooth sailing. I thought about relationships and how people can look at a couple and think that they have it down so well, but if only they knew the struggles and hardships.

These thoughts soon passed as my mind wandered its way to other things.

Flash-forward to today.

I was driving my hour commute to work. I'm in a unique situation this summer. I am interning one hour from home, but I am lucky enough to have some friends who are willing to put me up a few nights a week for free this summer in exchange for some cleaning. So, I typically drive over Sunday nights or Monday mornings and stay through Thursday before I head back home.

That information aside, back to the story. I am about 30 minutes into my drive to work. Traffic has been minimal at best, I've got some good tunes playing, and I'm on schedule to arrive (according to my GPS) 4 minutes before 9:00 AM. Right on time. At about this time I realize that I've made a pretty substantial mistake. I'd packed all my toiletries in my toiletry bag, but...

I left it in the bathroom.

I don't have my glasses. My retainer. I don't have my contact solution or case. I don't have a tooth brush. I don't have tooth paste.

It's far too late to turn around now. So... I do the logical thing, I get mad. I get upset at myself for forgetting the last thing I packed. I get frustrated with my inability to remember anything important. This leads to me becoming agitated with the (minimal) traffic. This leads to me being annoyed that my MP3 player battery has now died. This leads to me wondering: "Why did I wait till this morning to pack everything and drive over?" This leads me to.... see where this is going?

I'm glad nobody was in the car with me, but at the same time, I wish someone would have been. Maya would have learned a lot about me today had she been riding shotgun. The frustration culminated with me letting out a big sigh and saying: "Today is just going to be GREAT." God took that opportunity to hit me with a sucker-punch of love. "You're right, Isaac, it's going to be great. It's another day I created. In fact, it's more than great, it's going to be the best. I created it for you. And you know what, I created you too."

Gasping for spiritual air after having the wind knocked right out of me, I opened my eyes to the situation I was in. My mind had taken the one-way train to "Bad-Day-ville". I was set on making this the worst day ever and anything that could help me get there was more than welcome. Thanks be to God that he switched the tracks and got me on the right track.

I don't know if today was a great day in my eyes. I don't think it was the "best" by my standards, but, mine don't really matter too much. As the old hymn goes:

This is the day that the Lord has made,
We will rejoice and be glad in it!
This is the day, This is the day,
That the Lord has made.