Heartbreaker, you got the best of me...

Let's just get this out and on the table... I am terrible at keeping up with this. And yes, that is a Mariah Carey song reference in the title.

Okay, that aside... let's get down to business (to defeat the Huns).

My pastor posed the question at church on Sunday... "What does your heart weep for?"

I wish I could answer that. I feel like there's times I could list of tons of things and give a great answer, but most of the time (right now) I'm drawing blanks. What does my heart weep for? What breaks my heart? What keeps me up at night?

At the church I've started attending, Portico Arlington, we have been studying the book of Jonah. If you haven't read the book of Jonah, do it right now... pause the blog reading and read Jonah. It's 4 chapters of about 10 verses each but it is incredible! Shoot, even if you have read it, stop what you're doing and read it anyways--it is worth your time.

Anyways, that aside, we are studying Jonah and throughout this book, the reader is given a striking picture of Jonah's heart compared to God's heart. If two things were ever opposite, they would be Jonah's heart compared to God's heart. Long story short, the book ends with Jonah angry and sitting outside a city where he just witnessed 120,000 people repent and return to God.

Jonah's heart is weeping for his circumstances. He is mad about his situation. He is mad that God's grace extended to his enemies. He is mad that they didn't get what they deserved.

God's heart is weeping for the lost. He is weeping for Jonah's hard heart. He is weeping for the 120,000 people who repented of sin and put their faith in Him. He is rejoicing because they didn't get what they deserved.

What a stark contrast.

Isn't it so easy to sit back and look at Jonah with judgement? It's easy to sit back and say, "Man, if I were in his position, I would have been so much better!" or "I'm better than that! I would never be so self-centered."

Oh if only that were true.

Sadly it's not... I know I'm tragically self-centered. I wake up and the first thing I do is think about what I am going to wear to work. What am I going to look like? What am I going to eat for lunch? My whole world revolves around me! I'm just like Jonah! My heart weeps for my circumstances! "Ah, I got stuck in traffic today!" "Ah, my milk went bad and I couldn't have cereal for breakfast." "Ah, work was so busy!"

God's heart weeps for so much more than that. His heart weeps for the lost people I drive by as I commute to work. His heart weeps for my coworkers who don't know Him.

To zoom out and see the bigger picture--to step outside what my own eyes and heart focuses on--and turn my eyes on what God sees would be an incredible experience. I don't expect it to happen immediately (if it does, that is fine by me) but I expect it to happen. Each day, I want to focus less on myself and more or others. There's so much at stake... there's eternity at stake.

My heart should weep for that.