Passion...

I was recently asked, "Isaac, what are you passionate about?"

It's funny, I've spent the past 3.5 years of my life pursuing what I thought I was passionate about, but when it came time to answer that question, I couldn't really put words together.

How can I be 21.5 years old and not know what I'm passionate about?

What really gets me going? What do I find joy in doing? What (as my professor might say) makes my socks go up and down? I know there's things in this world I care a lot about, but would I say I'm passionate... I don't know.

I love technology. The application of science to solving real problems is so interesting to me. As many of my friends would attest, I love solving problems and always take the opportunity to boast that I am an Integrated Science and Technology major when I fix a problem or situation.

I love Jesus. It's been mind-blowing to see the way my life has changed over these past few years. It seems like so long ago I committed my life to following Him, yet it's only been just over 6 years. I wouldn't trade anything this world can offer for what I have in Him, it is truly a life worth living.

I think what I'm really passionate about is finding a way I can make these two loves work together. How can I make the application of technologies to helping people work with my love for Jesus? I think if/when I find myself doing that, I will have found what I'm truly passionate about.

I implore you, my loyal readers, to question what you are truly passionate about. Maybe you already know. Maybe you found your passion years ago and have been earnestly chasing it ever since. I applaud you for that and I encourage you to keep going and sacrifice it for nothing. Maybe you don't know yet. Maybe you're like me and are just wondering now what in the wild world of sports you really care about. I encourage you to think. To try things. To take risks. Figure out what you are passionate about and do it!

"Behold, You have made my days as handbreadths,
And my lifetime as nothing in Your sight;
Surely every man at his best is a mere breath. Selah."
-Psalm 39:5

What are you waiting for?

Fruity...

I recently heard the saying, "It's not the fruit that makes the tree, but the tree that makes the fruit."

As simple and elementary as that statement might seem, I think there's a lot of truth to it. Just because I can go pick an apple off a tree doesn't make that tree an apple tree. I could go hang a bunch of apples from an orange tree and confuse everyone. However, an apple tree will always produce apples. There's no way an apple tree can decide it's tired of the old Granny Smith and start making peaches. Therein lies the truth to that statement.

I heard this statement at my church (Aletheia Church) on Sunday. While I won't go into details about what Paul was preaching, I found that this statement really stuck with me... or at least has through the past few days.

I've found myself thinking a lot about the fruit I produce. Just because I do "good" things doesn't necessarily make me a good person. It's the kind of person I am that dictates the things I do. It's what is in my heart that dictates my actions. This is a hard pill to swallow. I don't want to be told that simply because I do good things doesn't mean I'm good. I don't want my works to be in vain. I've been reading in James how faith without works is dead. How can you tell me now that my good works don't really mean anything?

Aha! That's it. My good works only mean something if I have faith. What's inside dictates what's outside. What is in my heart dictates what my actions will be. Occasionally there might be an orange hanging from the apple tree (if someone puts it there), but if the tree's an apple tree, it will always produce apples. If Christ is in my heart, his work will always be done. Occasionally I might do some things out of selfish desire or pride, but on the inside, I remain in Christ.

Sorry for the lack of activity these past few weeks. It's the end of the semester and for some reason, professors don't think blogging is as important as projects... go figure.

Unexpected, part 2...

I wrote back in August about unexpected events. That post was in response to one of my best friends breaking his neck in an accident playing in the water at the beach. This happened at the worst time (not that there is a good time to break your neck). Just a week or so before classes started back up he was in the hospital going through hours of surgery to fix his neck. More than three months later, he is doing fine. He can walk, he can talk, he is still taking classes, he is alive. He is still getting his full range of motion back, he still has a little nerve damage that is getting better, but he is alive.

A week ago today, one of my good friends from high school died in a hiking accident. Hiking with some other friends from high school, he slipped and fell.

I wrote back in August: "I think it's since we don't know what may or may not happen, that these events can shape us, mold us, bend us, and sometimes break us. I think that's the beauty of faith. We trust that God is going to use anything and everything he does for his glory."

As hard as it is to accept that my friend is gone, I still believe what I wrote three months ago.

He was a man after God's heart. He sought to know Christ better every day of his life. He put others before himself. He loved the people around him with the love of Jesus. He stepped outside his comfort-zone and was stretched by God.

As hard as it is to accept that he is no longer here, I know that he is with Jesus now. I know that he is forever with his Savior. He ran his race hard. He ran with perseverance. He ran to the finish.

I apologize for the somber nature of this post. I write this in hopes that if... when... you find yourself in an unexpected circumstance, that you realize the reason why you are there.

James 1:2-4 reads,
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

Trials suck. I hate when my faith is tested. But, I know my trials are producing steadfastness. I know my trials are producing perseverance. I know that my steadfastness will have its full effect. I know I will be made perfect and complete. I know that I will be lacking in nothing.

James 1:2-4 has become something I read often. If... when... you find yourself in trials, I recommend reading it too.

Approved...

I love the Sermon on the Mount. I find it to be one of the most convicting few chapters of the Bible. Jesus completely flips the entire lifestyle the Pharisees had been living upside down. He pulls the rug out from under them entirely.

Sometimes I read this, and I'm like, "Yeah! Go Jesus! Show those dumb Pharisees what's up!" However, most times I read this, I'm like, "I am one of those dumb Pharisees. I care so much about what the people around me think."

The church I regularly attend (Aletheia Church) is in the middle of a series on the Sermon on the Mount and every Sunday morning I find myself convicted to change the way I live my life.

I find myself asking myself why do I do the things I do? Why do I live the way I live?

Is my utmost concern with glorifying Christ or is my utmost concern with glorifying Isaac?

A lot of times, I think I pick the latter. I want people to notice me. I want to be remembered. I want people to say, "Wow, Isaac sure is wise." I'll admit, even in writing this post, I am fighting my pride. I want everyone to read this, I want everyone to comment. I want to be important.

I wish I knew why I do what I do. I wish I knew what my true motivations were. I wish I could step back 10,000 feet and watch myself from a distance. Would I be appalled with my self-centered, narcissistic nature... our would I be surprised and comforted by my humbleness and willingness to go unnoticed?

I hope that each day I live less like I once was and more like Christ. That's all I really want to do.

Contentment...

I've found that one of the biggest things I struggle with on a day-to-day basis is knowing and believing that I am loved beyond all measure.

I don't know why I struggle with this so much. I sing songs proclaiming this truth. I read Scripture expressing this fact. I thank God for it. Yet... I struggle so much to simply believe it.

I find that often times I am very one-track minded. I get fixated on something that I think I want or would be good for me and I run all-out until I either attain it or it falls away. This is true for so many things in my life. I run all out after ministry, after future jobs, school, relationships, friends... the list can go on forever. I run, with blinders on, as hard as I can after what I think is best for me believing the lie that if I get it, I will finally be happy. That I will finally be content.

That is never the case.

Often times... most times, I run and run. I chase and chase. I pursue and pursue, forsaking all other things, for the opportunity to get what I so desperately want to find that I never get it. I end up broken. I end up frustrated. I end up angry. I end up hopeless. How vain must I be to think that I control the means of obtaining true happiness... joy... love?

I can say that God loves me... that he is my true source of joy... my true source of happiness, but I don't know that in the depths of my heart I believe it.

It comes back to this idea of Lordship that I wrote about a month ago or so. When I am not surrendering everything (and yes, I mean everything), I am not believing that God is my true source of life, joy, happiness, and love. When I hold on to things, I am saying, "No, no, I need this. I need this to be complete." I am stiff-arming God... I am boxing him in. I am saying, "You can have all this, but these few things are mine. I'm holding on to them."

I so desperately want this to change. I'm tired of chasing down things that I think are best. I am so tired of winding up broken, hurt, angry, frustrated, sad, hopeless, because I thought I knew what was best for myself.

I quit.

Pray, expect, go.

Those three words have become my mantra lately.

Pray: Pray to the God of the Universe.
Expect: Expect that he will hear your prayer.
Go: Expect that he will respond.

This is not my own idea. In fact, this idea is thousands of years old. I got it from the awesome story of Elijah.

He did a lot of wild things for the Lord during his lifetime. As most of the prophets of that era, he lived as a radical. The specific story I want to touch on is from 1 Kings 18. I highly encourage you to read it and base your learning off the Scripture and not my poor paraphrasing and summarizing.

Elijah is hanging out on Mount Carmel which if you've been to Israel you know that Mount Carmel is not piddly little hill. It is a mountain.

View from the top.

Anyways, Elijah is kind of in this prayer "battle" with the prophets of Baal. Essentially it's a sort of "anything you can do I can do better" battle. The prophets of Baal claim they can do this miracle, then Elijah shows them up with the power of God. This goes on and on until Elijah ignites the altar of the Lord after it has been drenched in water. They all fall to their knees in amazement. However, this isn't even the crazy part.

This whole time, in fact, three years previous to this time, the entire land has been under a terrible drought. It hasn't rained in years. After performing these wild miracles and signs, Elijah drops to his knees and begins to pray. He tells his servant to climb to the top of Mount Carmel and look for rain. Six times he sends his servant up, and six times the servant sees nothing.

The seventh time is different.

The seventh time, Elijah sends his servant to the top and far in the distance, the servant sees a rain cloud. Elijah prayed the drought would end. The drought ended.

He prayed. He expected. He went.

It's that simple... why is it so hard for me?

Stretch...

Flexibility.

I've been thinking about what it means to be flexible. Not in the physical fitness sense of the word (I mean seriously, is the 'sit-and-reach' a valid test of fitness anyway?) but I mean in the sense of time.

I've been job "searching" lately. It seems like every employer wants their employees to be flexible. Not so they can touch their toes, but so that when the proverbial curve ball is thrown, they will be able to react and take it all in stride.

I personally enjoy the curve ball. I get tired of the same thing. I get bored when my day-to-day routine becomes... a routine. I like being forced to be flexible. I like when someone asks me out of the blue to do something. I'll admit, sometimes it's very inconvenient and annoying, but I enjoy the change of pace.

I think Christ's example to us is that of flexibility. You don't have to look hard to find an example. Take the woman who had been hemorrhaging for years (Luke 8). Jesus is plowing his way through a big crowd trying to get to this man Jairus' house. Jairus' only daughter (12 years old) was dying, and he knew that Jesus was the only man who could heal her. As he's navigating his way through the crowd that "almost crushed him" (v. 42) a woman who had been bleeding for 12 years touches the hem of his cloak.

Instantly he stops.

He asks, "Who touched me?" For one, I guarantee there were a lot of people touching him at that moment. The wild thing is, he knew the answer to this question. As his disciples try to explain to him that dozens of people are touching him at the same time, he says that he felt power go out of him. He knew that this woman had touched the hem of his cloak.

At this point, this woman is trembling in fear. Her hopes to just touch the edge of his cloak and slip away are totally shattered. Jesus has called her out in front of the entire crowd. She explains why she did what she did and he tells her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace." (v. 48).

Meanwhile, the entire time this is going on, Jairus' daughter is dying. In fact, at this point, she is actually dead. Talk about being flexible. Jesus is on his way to save her life and he stops because a random woman touches him in faith that he can heal her.

I would imagine at this point Jairus is pretty upset. He gets news that his daughter has died, but as soon as he is told this, Jesus turns and says to him, "Don’t be afraid; just believe, and she will be healed." (v. 50). They make it to Jairus' house to find all the family grieving because of her death. Jesus tells them to stop because she is not dead, only asleep. Rightfully so, the family members laugh at him. I'd imagine that some where probably angry at him for making light of such a painful tragedy. If only they knew the power he had.

He commands the girl to get up. She wakes up and stands up. All is well. He brings her from death to life. She was dead. I wish that in blogging I could yell. SHE WAS DEAD! He brings her back to life! Astonishing.

The point I'm struggling to make here is that Jesus was the ultimate example of flexibility. It was not even an issue to stop what he was doing and spend meaningful time with some random woman who grabbed the edge of his cloak in hopes she would be healed. Even when a man's daughter was on her death bed, it wasn't a big deal. How easily I get frustrated when someone interrupts me from something of much less importance. I am striving to be flexible. It's not really "my" time anyway.